omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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