just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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