My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
