I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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