It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
