i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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