Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize