Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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