Don't you send me to vm
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Be still, my beating vagina.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
