We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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