ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
