She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Every concussion has its silver lining
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
