Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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