totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
