He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sext me about skeletons
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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