guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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