I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
