I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
