fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
