Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
