K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
