paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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