i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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