He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
