I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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