I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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