i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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