There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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