we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize