the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
