my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Houston, we have a squirter
Less talking, more tequila
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
