Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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