You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
