with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
