I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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