I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Less talking, more tequila
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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