hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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