I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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