toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sober January is a disaster.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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