I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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