She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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