the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
