WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
