You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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