I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
