and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
