I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
