I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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