Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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