I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
