Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize