Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
