I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
