Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
