she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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