The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
