You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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