this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
