There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize