Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize