My brain says no but my pants say off.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
