North Korea, Best Korea!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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