He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
please don't ironically join a cult
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