Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
