He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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