I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
