Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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