The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize