We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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